Congress changes national anthem

Washington/Paris: The House of Representatives decided today to make substantial changes in The US's national anthem. Although exactly what changes to be made have yet to be decided, the green light for change has been given. A committee of senators will be appointed to narrow down the suggested changes into a handful, which will then be voted off in a series of elections in the House of Representatives. The Senate will only approve the elected winner.

Sources within the House of Representatives says that one of the most likely changes is the last two lines of the first verse. The current verse ends with "The land of the free and the home of the brave" but it is highly likely that this is will be changed to "The land of surveillance and home of paranoia".

In the streets these new changes to the anthem have been met with mixed reactions.

"This is an outrage, a disgrace and mockery of our tradition," said Bill Backray (69). "They say that we Americans are paranoid. We're not. The reason I have 20 cameras around my house and stay away from anyone that look like a Muslim is because I'm cautious, not because I'm paranoid."

More sensible persons thinks it's a good idea.

"America has changed as a country and Americans have changed as a people. That's why it's fitting that we get a national anthem that fits us as a people."


In response to the new idea, other nations have decided to look to the honourable and wise people to the West and have put their national anthems under review to something that fit them better than the old ones.

The French government is suggesting that they substitute "Le Marseillaise" with one verse saying "We Surrender" in multiple languages. The People's Republic of China has decided to censor it's national anthem due to that it may be used incorrectly in any possible circumstance. North-Korea has also decided to censor it's national anthem, along with anything that makes people smile except Kim Jong-Il's birthday, while Argentina is going to have a general election about wheter or not to substitute it's national anthem with the former German one used under the Nazi regime.